


Not Your Fault

by buckscasey



Series: Sevasey One Shots [2]
Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, based on episode 0801
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-13 17:30:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21497854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckscasey/pseuds/buckscasey
Summary: Casey is not coping well with Otis death, Severide tries to help, but things don't go as expected as some hidden feelings surface.sort of an au for episode 0801
Relationships: Matthew Casey/Kelly Severide
Series: Sevasey One Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1544605
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	Not Your Fault

**Author's Note:**

> I changed some things to make them fit into my narrative, and I'm not really a fan of how it came out but still. Hope you like it :)

Losing a fellow firefighter was never easy but losing someone who you considered a friend and part of your family was even harder. That's why everyone in the firehouse had been so affected by Otis's death, his absence so present during every shift, it was extremely painful, but everyone knew they had to move on, and slowly, they did. Everyone was recovering, every shift was a little bit easier and it hurt a little less. But after 3 months, Kelly could see that it was still affecting Matt, it wasn't so obvious at the firehouse, but at home it was different, Casey was more distant than usual and he always had this sad look in his usual bright blue eyes that Kelly loves so much, Severide thought that Casey was getting better, but in the last week it had gotten worse, and of course Matt wouldn’t say what was bothering him so much. Kelly hadn't said anything, trying to give Casey his space and time to grieve, but after so much time and no progress regarding his feelings, Kelly decided that enough was enough, it hurt him to see Matt so upset and not being able to help him, so he decided to finally say something when Matt returned home from his construction gig that afternoon.

In the meantime, Kelly decided to clean up the apartment, that was usually something Matt always did, he liked keeping the apartment in order, but not lately, which only worried Severide even more, it was a clear sign that things were worse than he expected.  
He was almost done when he spotted an envelope addressed to Casey under a table cloth, he didn't mean to intrude, but maybe this envelope contained something that could tell him what had been affecting Matt in the last couple of days, so he pulled out the documents and he was shocked to read they were requesting Casey's presence for a safety hearing about the mattress fire. He couldn't believe they were questioning Casey's decisions, that fire had gotten out of control and there was nothing that they could've done differently, Otis death and Brett's injury were nobody's fault. Suddenly, it all made sense in Kelly's head, Matt was feeling guilty, and that was absolutely destroying him. 

Severide didn’t know what to do or say in order to help Matt, but he was sure he had to do something, at least to let Casey know he wasn't alone. 

When Matt arrived from his construction gig, he walked directly to the kitchen to get a beer, he opened it and sat on the couch, Kelly came out of his room and sat next to him, holding the envelope, “Matt, why hadn’t you talked to me about this hearing?” Severide asked, hoping that Casey would open up to him. 

“It's not a big deal, and I think you'll get a notification soon as well, didn't want to bother you so soon” Casey sounded tired, he really didn’t want to talk about this. 

“You could never bother me, Matt," Severide said, shortening the distance between them, "Besides, it looks like a big deal, you could lose your rank over this Case, it's not fair"

“Yeah, but maybe it's for the best, I don't think I deserved it in the first place” Casey's voice was shaky like he would break in any moment.

“You can’t be serious Matt, you’re of the greatest firefighters and leaders that I’ve ever met, you’ve worked so far to get where you are and you deserve to be captain. What happened in that fire wasn't your fault Case, there was nothing we could’ve done differently” Severide hoped that Matt would hear the honesty in his voice. 

“Otis didn’t deserve to die like that, he was young and had a whole future ahead with Lily. I just can’t stop thinking that maybe I should’ve been the one that died that day, not him” Matt eyes were shining with unshed tears and what broke Kelly's heart even more than the words, was the security in Matt's voice, it sounded like he really believed what he had just said. Kelly was at a loss of words, so he pulled the blonde into a tight embrace which only made Casey break down in tears, Kelly caressed his back and hair, hoping to make Matt calm down a little bit. He couldn't stand to see Casey so sad, it broke his heart. He kept caressing him and whispering comforting words, he softly whispered "You're not alone Matty, you'll always have me, I love you" the words slipped out of Kelly's mouth before he even noticed, he froze, this was not how he had expected to reveal Matt how he felt, to be honest, he had planned to never reveal his feelings, too scared of losing Matt's friendship. But now his brain had betrayed him and the truth was out there.

"What?" Casey pulled out of the embrace and stared at Kelly, an unreadable look in his eyes. 

"What did you mean Kel?" Matt's voice was demanding.

"I… meant what I said Matty, I love you" Kelly meant to sound confident but his voice was shaky, he tried to reach Matt's hands but the blonde was faster and stood up from the couch and made his way to the door. 

"Where are you going?" Severide asked and noted a hint of desperation in his voice, it felt like his fears of Matt putting distance between them was becoming true, he felt helpless.

"Just to take some air, I can’t be here right now” and just like that, Casey walked out of the apartment, leaving Severide with his heartbroken and more confused than ever before.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are truly appreciated!


End file.
